A Fate Worse Than Death


I grew up in an environment of big expectations.

People always debated what I would grow up to be, from the millesecond I was born. Family members would say things like “Daevone, you’re going to be a great doctor, aren’t you?” and I would giggle and nod my head like the clueless child I was. Time after time, the same theme would pop up. Doctor, lawyer, accountant, scientist, judge, you get the idea. Every time I was asked what I could grow up to be, I agreed with the above professions. I was lying.

The only thing I’ve ever wanted to do is write, even now. Yeah, I know education is important, but writing is a part of me that can’t be ignored, it’s like a shadow. No matter where I am in life or what I’m doing, writing will forever be attatched to me. Even if I’m in an office working somewhere, I’ll be a writer first. When somebody asks me the infamous question “So what do you do?” I will always answer “I’m a writer.” I’m a writer before anything else.

When I was younger, I would give in to the expectations of others and think that I had to be a lawyer or a doctor because nothing else mattered. But all Iever wanted to grow up to be was a writer.

Imagine if I had become a scientist or a lawyer… I hate science and I hate law. If I had taken any of those jobs, I would have been living a fate worse than death, trapped inside the matrix of someone else’s expectations. Many of us are dealing with pressures to be somebody we don’t want to, and that’s not okay. You might want to be a president one day, but somebody discourages you, saying that it’s impossible. Don’t listen to them, do what you feel is right. If you don’t, then you will have to live with the consequences of not following your heart, they won’t have to.

Imagine waking up in the middle of the night, every night, for the rest of your life, wondering what if. What if you had taken the chance, what if you tried, what if you succeeded. It’s a fate worse than death. That scenario could easily become a reality if you cave into expectations. You would live the rest of your life, not truly living your life, because you made a decision that you never wanted. You listened to somebody else’s heart, while putting yours on mute.

Be who you want to be, do what you want to do, and don’t let anyone else tell you differently.


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