Since you loved the last You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?, we’re going to pick up where we left off. Buckle up, hold on to your seatbelt, wig, loose valuables, horses, and Captain Crunch, because it’s time to grind some gears.
People who chew with their mouths open – Seriously, I wonder if these people have the burning passion to become cows when they grow up. Maybe they are practicing their part in an audition to star as some kind of bovine villain. Either way, that wet, sloshy om-nom-nom noise makes me feel like throwing your meal to the ground and stomping it into an inedible paste.
When you’re under your blanket and your exposed feet get cold – This one is self-explanatory. Nobody likes to deal with cold piggies.
Finding out that somebody went into the fridge and ate my food – You just came back home for a wonderful dinner outing with friends and have your delicious meal wrapped up in a styrofoam container. Still smiling like a goofy child over the night’s memories, you carefully place your meal in the refrigerator, anticipating to finish it the next day. You awake the next morning draped in bliss: birds are chirping, dogs are barking and you’re still smiling. You skip over to the fridge so you can eat your heavenly meal… Only to find that it’s missing from the fridge and that somebody had the audacity to munch on your last physical memory of last night. That person is the worst kind of evil fiend there is.
Children’s toys with loud noises and/or obnoxious lights – As children, loud noises and crazy lights are a joy to behold and fill our days with astonishing fun. As adults, they are obnoxious noisemakers from the very pits of Hell, intended to send you to an early grave.
People who cough and sneeze with their mouths open. All kinds of diseases, all kinds. – No explanation necessary.
When you’re out in public and strangers give you the Mr. Bean smile. – I don’t know if it’s just me, but for some strange reason, I constantly get the cooky Mr. Bean look from random strangers. In the last You Know What Really Grinds My Gears, I mentioned that I don’t like people staring at me. This takes the ethical violations of staring to a whole new level.
When the news only discusses the bad things that happen, but never the good ones. – I’ve felt this way ever since I was a thumb-sucking little tot. Some things just never change. Everyday no matter the source, the news takes intricate care in highlighting the doom and gloom of the world. Why must we always have to hear about some kind of shooting? Why not talk about the abundance of good in the world? There are blood donors, volunteers, good Samaritans, and all around benevolent people performing acts of kindness wherever they live. Let’s focus on the positive and throw the negative in the trash.
When I’ve been working on something for a while and the power goes out. All progress lost. – This has happened quite a few times and each time I have pulled my hair from the root and used it to decorate my walls. My agony increases especially if the power goes out after I’ve worked on a truckload of material. All right, enough about this topic. My skin is turning green from the bitter rage of electronic-related follies.
Those 30 second ads on YouTube and Pandora. – I don’t watch much tv or listen to the radio, mainly due to the obscene amount of commercials. It’s like complete strangers leap through my window in a desperate effort to sell me something with that annoying CNN morning broadcast voice. So I’ve watched videos on YouTube and listened to music on Pandora for quite a few years now. Everything was smooth and fine. I watched what I wanted and listened to what I wanted, how I wanted. Nowadays, both are flooded with endless arrays of devious ads hellbent on world domination with their catchphrases and smiling faces. What’s even worse is the fact that you cannot skip those ads, you have to either watch them or ignore them during their 30 second runtime. It leaves such a bad taste in my mouth that I have to brush my teeth every time.
When you’re in a store and the same staff member keeps asking if you need help. – Okay I understand, it’s your job to help me find something. But please, please don’t follow me after I say no. It’s annoying. Stop it and find something else to do or someone else to stalk.
Mondays – No explanation necessary. This would require a blog post by itself alone. (Maybe it should be a future post)
April Fools’ Day – Two things annoy me: being tricked and pointless holidays. What better way to unleash my inner monster than by merging the two together, right?
Spam – Ahh spam, my lifelong nemesis, we meet gain. No matter the location, whether it’s my postbox or my email, you find a way to get under my skin. Each time I have failed to defeat you, but I shall one day emerge victorious. Either that or die trying under a mountainous glut of nonsensical advertisements.
Small children who kick the back of my seat in the movie theater. – *Thump Thump Thump* I can feel my blood pressure rising, but I’m too much of a nice guy to turn around and reprimand those kids. *Sobs*
Elevator music – I find elevator music more annoying than frustrating. Elevator music is the same wherever you go. It’s like one company has a monopoly on the world’s elevators and they play a rotation of the same music. Side note: what kind of genre is that? Could there possibly be a genre called Elevator Music?
Well, those are a few of the billions of things that grind my gears. Just thinking about each heinous perpetration makes my blood boil. So I’d like to hear your thoughts in the comments below: What really grinds your gears?