Today Is My 21st Birthday

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No, you’re eyes aren’t deceiving you. You see the title. Today is my birthday, so that makes me *counts on fingers, toes, and belly button* 21 years old. I still can’t believe I’ve had 21 birthdays and that I’ve reached the official drinking age. But anyway, enough of this senseless rambling. You know the drill. Let’s get this party started.

I’ve always promised myself that I wouldn’t drink, but c’mon, it’s my 21st birthday, what else would be more suiting than celebrating it by having a bit of alcohol, right? So here’s the plan for tonight. I still have no idea what I want to do, aside from the drinking part. I have a monstrous craving for some seafood, so some shellfish is definitely on the menu.

I know what you’re thinking right about now: “Oh my god. Oh my god? What on Earth can I get him?”

Well fear not, panicky party guest, for I have a list of things I would like to as presents to commemorate this memorable 21st birthday.

1. My very own country – I mean c’mon. This one’s pretty self-explanitory. Who wouldn’t like to have a country that they rule. My first order of business would be to ban onions, and after that I’ll legalize fun thingamajigs like jetpacks, time machines, and teleportation. I would even remove all of the pavement and replace them with bouncy trampoline material. Come on, you know that would be fun.

2. A clone – Have you ever had yet another monotonous day where you wished you could have someone take your place while you go and do more exciting things, like save the world from door-to-door salesmen? Well that’s what the clone is for. The clone would do all the boring things we all hate to do, like doing the dishes, sitting through lectures, etc. And when I’m done with him, I can just fold him up and store him in my closet so he doesn’t cause any trouble and get me framed for anything.

3. The ability to fly – That pretty much says it all right there.

4. A dragon – “But Daevone, isn’t that pretty much the same thing as flying?” No. Absolutely not. Wrong. Poop noise. A dragon is much more than aerial transportation, it’s also a companion, and not to mention a living, breathing heater for those cold winter nights. Dragons are much more incredible than mere words could ever describe, so I’ll stop here before I anger a dragon and have my house burned down tonight.

5. For you to read my book – “But Daevone, how can we read something that isn’t finished yet?” Well I… Well… Umm… Ahem, well you didn’t let me finish my sentence. I was going to add “once I finish revising it,” before you oh so rudely interrupted me. I know I sound like a broken record player at this point, always saying that I’ll finish my novel very soon, but this time, it’s even closer to completion than ever before. In fact, I would love it if you’d like to volunteer as a beta reader. For more information on the novel, you can click here. If you’re mushy gushy in love with the idea and would love to help out (for which I would owe you ten thousand lifetimes of thanks), then feel free to contact me at any of the various options here.

So yeah, that’s pretty much my birthday in a bundle. Well, would it be a bit of a stretch to ask you to share this blog with your friends? I know. I know. I’m breaking the boundaries here, but come on, it is my birthday after all.

As always, I hope you have a great day. Now it’s my time to do the same. I’ll catch you later, I have some partying and some celebrating to do.

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